if no one can go with you, go alone
siri play "baby steps" by olivia dean
It’s funny how the smallest things like grabbing dinner alone, booking a trip or showing up solo can take the most courage.
When I was younger, I used to think good memories only mattered if someone else was there to see them. But life doesn’t always wait for perfect timing or perfect company. And if you keep waiting, you’ll blink and realize time just passed you by.
In 2023, I booked a trip to Austin, Texas for Afrotech (this huge conference for Black professionals in tech). At the time, I was leading a $2.6 million digital equity project helping low-income and first generation college students get laptops and hotspots to support their college careers.
After about a year, I asked my boss if there was any budget for professional development, and when she said yes, I was like, wait, really?!
Here’s the funny part: I was scared to take the subway alone and somehow ended up flying nearly halfway across the country by myself. But that’s the thing: you miss every opportunity you don’t ask for. If I hadn’t spoken up, or pushed past that tiny bit of fear, none of what came next would’ve happened.
And that trip? Easily one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I met people who looked just like me and saw something in me that I hadn’t fully seen in myself yet. I walked into rooms I didn’t think I belonged in (until I realized I did).
Looking back, it’s crazy how that one trip (and a few years of hard work in between) opened the door to the career I have now; something I never would’ve guessed at the time.
Since then, “alone” has stopped feeling like isolation. It’s started feeling like freedom.
The Type A in me completely clocked out for the rest of 2023 (lol). I flew to Cali for a week right after Texas, then back to Texas for a 24-hour trip just to see a concert, discovered Café 605 (my favorite little ATX coffee shop that no one talks about), went to concerts solo, saw Broadway shows, sat through movies by myself, wandered through museums, and ordered dinner for one. Honestly, I was on a “do it scared anyway” streak.
But the truth is, I’ve never really been alone. Through every trip, every table for one, every new city, God has been right there with me, guiding me and reminding me that courage often looks like showing up for yourself.
I’m sharing this because I want you to think about what this could look like for you. Like, what if you just went anyway? What if you stopped waiting for the “right” timing, or for someone else to say yes first?
You never really know what’s waiting for you on the other side of a small, scary decision, but it’s almost always worth finding out.
Whatever it is you’ve been hesitating on, do it scared. Book the trip. Go to the dinner. Apply for the job. Say yes, even if your voice shakes a little (like mine did).
The version of you waiting on the other side is worth meeting.
And if you’re in NYC and looking for places to enjoy your own company, here are a few of my favorites (a little touristy, maybe, but great places to start. I love them all the same):
museums
the MoMA, especially dinner at The Modern afterward — art and quiet luxury rolled into one.
the MET, where the scenery reminds me that creativity never gets old.
cafe
Ariston Flowers Cafe, because sometimes joy looks like picking out fresh flowers for yourself.
scenery
The High Line, for long walks and nice views
There’s so much to see, but mostly I hope you remember this:
Life’s not waiting, and neither should you.
Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
beautiful post!! 🥹
Wow I love this! So true!