gratitude
a grounding reminder of what we have in front of us
Lately, I’ve been sitting in a very soft kind of gratitude.
It’s not the “everything is perfect” kind.
It’s just an awareness of the small things (that aren’t really that small, in retrospect) that God has placed in my life and how much they actually mean.
Growing up, I was always striving for more.
A better job.
A better car.
More self-development (and not enough self-love)
Better workouts.
Better travel.
The best version of myself always felt just one improvement away.
And while ambition can be a gift, I didn’t realize how easily it can turn into something more harmful: like never letting yourself arrive.
I spent so much time reaching forward that I rarely enjoyed where I already was. Each milestone passed quickly, almost unnoticed, because my attention was already fixed on what needed to be better next.
I graduated from graduate school with the highest distinction. I tripled my income in two years, in the middle of a global pandemic, after being laid off from my on-campus job. I grew closer to God, though I can see now that my faith was still forming. I learned how to set healthier boundaries. I began taking care of my health in a more holistic way. All of it happened so quickly that I barely had time to sit with any of it because I didn’t yet believe rest was an option.
And still, woven through all of the growth, there was heartbreak. There were disappointments I didn’t see coming, moments of uncertainty, tests and seasons that asked more of me than I felt prepared to give.
I was building a life I once prayed for while quietly grieving parts of the one I thought I was meant to have.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to grow. But I’m learning that growth without gratitude can slowly become exhausting and that sometimes the real work is learning how to stay present long enough to receive what’s already here.
It can make life feel like a constant state of “not yet,” even when God has already done so much.
Looking back now, I can see how gently God guided me through each season, even the ones I was very impatient to move through. The lessons, the protection, the doors that opened at the right time, and the ones that stayed closed for reasons I couldn’t understand then.
Ambition becomes toxic when it disconnects us from appreciation and when we forget to honor the journey, we miss the evidence of God’s faithfulness already written into our lives.
Lately, I’m learning to pause and to thank God not just for where I’m going, but for where I’ve been led so far.
Because sometimes the most grounding realization isn’t about what’s next, it’s about recognizing how much has already been carried, provided, and sustained.
So today, I’m choosing to notice what’s in front of me and to thank God for what I have, even as I hold the faith of a mustard seed for what’s ahead.
I’m here to remind myself (and you if you need it <3) that the journey itself has always been part of the gift.
At the same time, I want to be super understanding because gratitude isn’t always easy.
There are seasons when life feels heavy and when you’re moving through loss, uncertainty, or exhaustion. There are days when what’s happening in the world feels overwhelming, heartbreaking, and impossible to make sense of. In those moments, gratitude can feel distant.
I don’t think gratitude is meant to ignore suffering or pretend things are okay when they’re not. I think it’s meant to sit alongside reality and to coexist with grief, questions, anger, and longing.
Sometimes gratitude looks less like joy and more like survival.
Less like celebration and more like acknowledging the smallest threads of steady holding you up.
If you’re not in a place to feel grateful right now, that doesn’t mean you’re doing life wrong. It just means you’re human.
And God meets us there too.
Also if you’re feeling called to slow down and practice gratitude in a small way, I’ve personally used the Five Minute Journal, but you can also just use your notes app.
p.s.
sharing a small moment from last season - cutting my farewell cake as i said goodbye to a place i spent 7 years in. so many good memories, and a lot of growth.
xoxo Day
weekend watch:
i really like the love story. the main character, Joy temporarily leaves fast city life for something slower and quieter. it made me think about how much beauty there is in slowing down, and what we might find when we do. i can really relate to it, especially now that i will be away from the city for a month. i might not be in a cabin in the woods, but i feel the same pull toward something more intentional.
weekend sermons:
The Consequence Of Impatience | Jerry Flowers
How To Display A Godly Heart | Matthew 18 21-30 | Philip Anthony Mitchell
This was so timely! Thank you for sharing. I really needed because sometimes slowing down feels so wrong but it’s so worth it. You can’t possibly take care of what’s to come if you’re not learning how to take care of what’s already here!
Beautiful read and a tear jerker for sure! It’s wild what you’re able to accomplish when you believe in yourself! 🪽🤍